Sunday, June 22, 2008

In Case You Missed It...The Love Guru is SHIT!!!

My girlfriend Kelly first mentioned seeing The Love Guru. The idea was to see if it was as bad as everyone had been saying. Now, I could have said "You are out of your fucking mind...no way", right then and there. However, I was swept away with a feeling that I had not experienced since my senior year in high school...that feeling of doing something that you know is just so stupid that you will be talking about it for years to come. The extravagance and luxury of wasting time, money and precious minutes of your life on a venture that was so pointless that you had to laugh about it. The notion that life is forever and you could waste it on whatever you wanted - no matter how frivolous.

Now, after seeing The Love Guru, I tell you this - Never take life for granted. Cherish every moment and make each one count. Never give in to whimsy. Most importantly, Never...I say NEVER pay with either your money or your time, to see The Love Guru.

Going in to the theater, my expectations were so low that I foolishly thought that there was nowhere to go but up. I was wrong. The Love Guru saw where my expectations were and was able to sink down even further. It waved at my expectations as it dove down past them towards a greasy, brown colored pile of mucus that has only been seen by Hell's guardians , souls of child abusers, and Ann Coulter. Yes. The Love Guru is that bad.

I would rather sit through Sgt. Peppers' Lonely Hearts Club Band, playing backwards, while I was wearing beer goggles, than to see The Love Guru again. Myers has crafted a film that is unfunny, uninspired and lacking in every sense of the word. Character development is nil and the comedy is rehashed Austin Powers material. Every joke has a punchline that can be seen coming by a blind, retarded monkey. The only saving grace from this movie was Verne Troyer ....c'mon ...midgets are funny. Especially when they are punching guys in the balls.

I won't say that if you like this movie you are an idiot. However, I will state that if you do enjoy this flick, it says volumes about your shitty personality and how you probably can't wait for amazon.com to deliver your paperback adaptation of Meet the Spartans.


Saturday, June 21, 2008

Dumb Dora is so Dumb...


The Hollywood Reporter reports that Robert Smigel (The genius behind Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and T.V. Funhouse) will be the executive producer for a new Match Game to be aired on TBS. So far, the talent for the panel seems to be top fucking notch. I mean, if I were to do this, the panel they have assembled wouldn't be to far off from who I would want to represent the Match Game "08".

Sarah Silverman
Bob Einstein (Super Dave Osbourne)
Scott Thompson (Kids in the Hall)
Rashida Jones (The Office)
Niecy Nash (Reno 911)
Norm MacDonald

Wow. The only person that I have a 1 dimensional opinion of is Rashida Jones, who I know nothing about outside of her role as Karen on THE OFFICE. As for the rest, say what you will about their acting chops or how their last project tanked...that group has the potential to make you piss your pants laughing.

And with Scott Thompson filling the Charles Nelson Reilly role and Sarah Silverman taking over the Brett Somers position? This could be really good...

Here for the full story....